I am working on the proposal for my book, Seven a Memoir, and decided that I wanted to turn it in three weeks early. I became fixated on writing the seventy page proposal within that deadline and, when it was more work than I realized, I wouldn’t budge.
I was holding on tight to this arbitrary date, this self inflicted definition of perfection. This led to a melt down three days before my due date, full on with tears, snots and a big dose of anxiety.
I’m not unique. We are in a society of doing, that’s what we value. And the more we do, the better. We go for it, making long lists, running around, it can all lead to a bit of tail chasing. Especially because at a certain point, when we become over-stressed (or too busy), we fizzle out and nothing good can come of that.
Today, after a lot of meditation, walking in the woods, reading spiritual reminders, teaching yoga, laughing with friends, I can see that the freak out was my nervous system’s way of telling me to stop, “This is no kind of fun!” it said.
You see, my writing flows when I’m having fun. If I’m not in a joyful place I get stuck. This is true for every part of my life, from wrapping a present to calling someone back, when I’m coming from joy it all goes a lot better.
It’s like the difference between a child drawing a purple and orange tie died fish using her imagination, versus trying to color it silver and in the lines because that’s the way the fish has to be. We get further by drawing the crazy fish, trust me.
- When we come from a playful, light place, we are connecting to source and our deepest selves.
- The feeling of joy is a breadcrumb leading us to our next right action for the manifestation of our dreams. And those dreams are what we are here to contribute to this world.
How do we come from joy? Is there a switch we flick? Well, no, it takes action. It takes finding what brings us back to center, what makes us happy, and then doing it. Whether that means connecting to the people that make you giggle, or exercising in a way that makes your body feel alive, or drawing, singing, dancing…I can’t tell you what it is for you. One way I come back to center and joy is walking in the woods. I never walk out of the woods feeling the same way as when I walked in.
Once I realized I was short circuiting, I took my actions to get back to center. I let go of my deadline, and I realized I needed to give myself more time. I’ve been happily creative and excited since.
- What are you putting too much pressure on yourself about?
- Can you loosen the grip and connect to joy instead?
The perfectly imperfect in me bows to the perfectly imperfect in you! And happy Winter Solstice, let the light return!